Music Saved My Life

Well, last post was a pretty down post so I'm going to try and make one on a happier note... Hopefully.. I have gone to a counselor to deal with my issues about depression, self harm, and working out my feelings better. I HATE talking (most of the time) and I don't like talking about my feelings. I have a difficult time saying them or even naming them in the first place. If I could write out my feelings and just send it to people that could be easier I suppose but the best way I have coped was with music. Music helped me address how I am feeling and made me feel a lot better about myself.

Before I get to any individual songs, I want to let you know "my bands" as I call them. Panic!At The Disco was my first one, and although I absolutely love their music, I can't say that most of the lyrics got to me like others did. My Chemical Romance really was my band. It hurt me (even though I didn't show it) when people would talk bad about them (it still hurts..). Because their songs gave me a higher self-esteem and showed me that being different is okay. Nothing was to weird for them. Sleeping With Sirens' lyrics had really helped me because the lead singer, Kellin Quinn, he had gone through the exact same experience my family and I are going through. They have songs about feeling abandoned by family and friends, not feeling good enough, and sometimes you get a random zombie song thrown in there! (Dead Walker Texas Ranger if you're wondering) Pierce The Veil.. Ah Pierce The Veil.. Well their lead singer, Vic Fuentes had done self harm when he was a teenager. Their music helps people like me who struggle with self harm. I can't say too much about Stabbing Westward and A Perfect Circle because I just stumbled upon their music and kept listening to it, but I haven't done any research on the bands, and haven't really seen either of their videos. Escape The Fate and Falling In Reverse (I know, how can I put the two in the same sentence.. Let's just ignore that) they taught me how to rise up when people try to knock me down, and they also taught me that it's okay to be angry, but don't let that anger become you, you can still become something great. KISS and Blood on The Dancefloor have taught me that being weird and different is okay, and heck, it can even be fun!

I am going to share a few songs (maybe one from each band I mentioned..) That have helped me and I'll tell you why.

1. Always by Panic! At The Disco... It felt good to feel that even though they were miles away, they would "always be there" for me through their music. That just feels freaking amazing.

2. Cancer by My Chemical Romance.. this song helped when my mother was dealing with cancer and I was still trying to piece together what was happening. I didn't really know how bad cancer was, and when it finally hit me that it was a deadly disease that could have taken my mother, I was scared. This song helped me a lot.

3. A Trophy Father's Trophy Son by Sleeping With Sirens... This song helped me soooo much lately because all of the lyrics describe what I'm going through with my family at the moment.

4. Tangled in The Great Escape by Pierce The Veil.. I don't know why this song got to me like it did, but that one part where Vic says; "I didn't mean to hurt nobody, I only meant to do this to myself." It hit me real hard. Unless you have actually self-harmed you wouldn't understand this part. It means that when he self harmed he was only trying to hurt himself but in reality it had actually hurt others around him.

5. Happy by Stabbing Westward... Again, these touching lyrics.. They also describe on a more emotional level what my family and I are feeling.

                                      

6. Imagine by A Perfect Circle.. I like these lyrics because sometimes I share this same dream. I would love a world where there are no races, countries, gender.. Just people, and no discrimination. 

                                     

7. World Around Me by Escape the Fate.. These lyrics describe me in my own head I think. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own world inside my head and it's just killing me. I also have certain people (that have diminished to very few now) that I absolutely trust and if they let me down I think it will really be a hard blow because I count on them so much.

                                         

8. Caught Like A Fly by Falling In Reverse.. These lyrics have shown me that just because someone has hurt you a lot, you can still be better and rise up from that. You can still be successful even if you feel like that person has hurt you badly. 

                                         

9. Freak by KISS.. This just shows me that you can be different and not have to care about what others say about you. 

                                         

10. You Are The Heart by Blood on The Dancefloor.. Although their past music had never really been appropriate.. I can say that they always stood up against discrimination and bullying, and they also always encouraged you to be different. Their new music is very empowering and this song is all about suicide and depression awareness. 

                                        

11. Carry On by Fun. This song really did help me. When I was first thinking about cutting (I had my blade ready and everything) this song came on and it held me back for a good month. 

Some of these songs are really empowering to me and I listen to them everyday. While others were here to set an example, but nonetheless, they helped. My music may seem scary to you, and you may hate it, but it gets me through everything. 

This is barely touching the surface to the music I listen to, perhaps I shall do a part two. I'm not sure. But I wanted you all to see how I express myself through the music I listen to.